I know a lot of Mormons who were also not raised on fear and guilt and strict gender rolesвbut I was, as were many of my peers. It was more about my own spirituality and our relationship in our marriage. I have many friends and members of my family who married within the church and later divorced. Maybe we'll break up in a month.
Congratulations on understanding that and avoiding problems. It also means that you have to give her something particular to do. Break it off amicably now, before it gets too difficult. My husband not only supports me going to church he encourages it because he knows that it is a part of me and makes me happy. I've had friends with spouses that got Fulbrights or grants to study in other countries.